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Marble Steps (Sidewinder Route to the Main Chamber)

Present: Jenny, Scott, Martin, Richard

An ill omen for an ill day. Even the grouse/pheasant warned us off. The sky was bloated with the shadows of doom; the heavens vented their fury upon us, a torrent flung upon our blasted heath. The sky Gods stopped one of our number (Martin) reaching the start of our great journey. But we were not to be deterred, none of us could abandon our comrade to his doom (a larger breakfast than us! – a fate we couldn’t permit him to suffer).

Once we had resolved to move forward we solflied forth against enemies unnumbered. The Gods of travel (trucks) blinded us (spray), held us back (overtook each other), but our gallant steed (Jenny’s car) could not be matched by these sullen brutes. But then disaster; the earth God had turned against us (we had not worshiped the rightful God – our shame was almost our end), shifting the paths, confusing this band of gallant warriors. (Scott: What? Narrator: Yes of course! Martin: Its not as if Jenny would take a wrong turn. narrator: Of course not! Now be quiet, or I’ll use the whip again! Jenny: yes, I own you all as I run the World! Whip: swish. Narrator: That’ll learn you. Now where was I; ah yes). Despite our heroic progress, our moral was low as the sheep mournfully cried out our progress.

Jenny: I’m fed up at this. I want someone sensible to write about this, I’m going to kill you: Take this, that and the other.
Narrator: Ah, you’ve killed me. Goodbye sweet world, never to smell a rose again, never to hold a beautiful women and…
Jenny: Get on with it.
Narrator: And so ends your narrator, Richard.
Jenny: Finally!!!


Great! My first SRT trip to a proper cave. All went well until I managed to get tangled on a rebelay at the entrance to the main chamber. Luckily Jenny was able to stage a rescue both HEROIC and VALIANT and I finally got down. Clean socks, a cave, a bag of chips… could this be the perfect day?