Trip Date: Sunday 18th October 2026.
Present: Abi M., Benedict S., James B., Rosie H.
Submitted By: James Baxer (edited by Matthew Emerson)
Conditions: Relative dry runup for the days prior, a tad chilly on the Fell with the breezes.
Highlights: A few oopsies, Abi having fun in the rift and finding some cool fossils, Benedict swearing at tackle sacks.
Haiku
A lovely ‘dry’ crawl
No loose rocks whatsoever
Perfect for Freshers.
The Journey There
With an early wakeup I enforced for all, after conceding to having an Inglesport breakfast, we were out of Durham before 7:30. A feet DUMC could never achieve! A peaceful journey ensued, at least one less eventful than that of the previous day. Very glad we didn’t have Jamie stricken with his weak bladder as one of our crew.
Arriving at Inglesport for a timely 9:20 we stocked up on food, most notably Abi’s impressive tackling of the Welly Filler. With a couple of frivolous purchases made from the shop we were back on our way – headed for our ultimate destination, Leck Fell.
Being the early birds (for student cavers) that we were, we got first pick of the parking. With no risk of grounding The Mighty Stallion or getting him stuck in the mud, Rosie was a tad pleased. Now the typical cave faff ensued: deciding layers; packing the bags; and packing my welly sausage.
We were all especially delighted to be using oversuits from the trip from Valley the previous day, all lovely and wet from swimming in the sumps. As we began kitting up, it seemed the whole world had started arriving. Sheffield and Bangor, both running freshers trips, pulled up and had a chat, with their fresh somehow getting ready before us?! Completing the faff ritual by taking a scenic piss we were finally on our way!
Entering the Cave
This time coming prepared with my (phone’s) superb navigation, we managed not to get lost, and quickly found the entrance. Taking a brief rest around the pallet topped hole, we elected Benedict as the sacrifice, with him heading down first. Switching on my camera we began one-by-one disappearing into the darkness below – never to be seen again… for 8.5 hours.
It was with great admiration we regarded the liberal use of foam filler, and what appeared to be a structural newspaper, holding the dug rocks up around us. It’s a good idea to note that whilst the entrance to the-cave-that-shall-not-be-named is not bad, it’s certainly not that nice. Consisting of a backwards crawling, a couple of drops/climbs down, it would be a fun place for a self-rescue.
With swift progress being made, I was very proud I remembered the first little drop unlike last time where I had scared myself just a tad. As the group moved on, Benedict began rigging the first pitch (Ill Bill Aven), a tad awkward with the in-situ threaded through the only drill hole.
Crash, bang, clank!
What was that the group wondered? Was it a rock? Was it a Cave Goblin high on calcite? No! It was me finding the quickest way down the second climb… which I may have forgotten existed. This is the first oopsie of our trip. Escaping with minor injuries, but a lot of embarrassment (especially as it had been caught in not quite 4k), the show continued on and we all descended down to the start of Haywagon Passage.
Ditching their SRT Kits, the others headed down to see the promised pretties. Discovering a mix of long straws and tasty looking rocks (according to Abi), it was well worth the extra crawl. I on the other hand, was left to contemplate my life choices and learn the consequences of trusting your memory at my ripe old age… of 20!
The Incredibles
With the others returning we prepared to handle the next challenge of or journey, the Death Pitch (The Incredibles). For some context, the top and sides of this pitch consist of large loose rocks held together by mud (very sturdy I’m sure…). Rosie and myself’s previous encounter with this pitch had ended with a few near misses, a core-shot traverse line, and a few cuts from rock shrapnel (sorry Jakub!!!).
This time I’m proud to say was uneventful, you could almost call it boring. Luckily, we were entertained by Rosie’s amusing rigging of a Y-hang clearly made for taller cavers. It was great fun watching her trying to do the splits before finally reaching the final and then descending with too few crabs for the traverse line to follow.
After a further uneventful traverse over a (probably) false floor and another descent, we reached the bottom of Heavenly Joys Aven. Stripping off some layers in anticipation for what was to come, the group began filing into the crawl, with Abi leading the charge. It was to my horror that at this point my camera decided to malfunction and I the lost footage of Rosie getting stuck in the squeeze (along with all further recordings).
With relatively dry weather the past few days, the crawl was only slightly wet compared to my last visit, but it was still enough to make it a tad miserable. Despite these conditions the group was making very good speed, except for me – I really need to get faster at crawling. Avoiding the Pleasures of the Palm we reached the lovely ‘narrow’ rift. To my pleasure the whole group seemed to thoroughly enjoy this!
Arriving slightly late to the party, I was happy to see Abi already rigging the final pitch. The whole group needing a lovely cold shower, descended down Oliver Lloyd Aven finally reaching the end of Voldemort hole.
Stopping for Food
With a little trek into the Notts II streamway, resisting the urge to head out the climb, we immediately headed back. Cold and not fancying a curry, we had the hunger for a bit of charred fish instead.
Mackerel Candle time! Rosie was overjoyed! Retrieving our two, yes two tins of mackerel, we set them alight, illuminating our surroundings and removing the need for our torches. Being physiologically warmed from the flames, we toasted our marshmallows, a worthy snack for such a cave. Our feast was only briefly stopped to admire the weirdly accurate mud sculptures, and the rogue DUSA letter on one of the surrounding boulders.
Tucking back in, we tried toasting a sausage cheese combo. The result, a very sooty UFO (Unidentified Food Object). It got zero stars from Abi. Extinguishing flames and restarting our torches, we feasted on the warm fish and downed some hot squash, before starting on our daunting return.
Heading Back Up
Now refuelled and somewhat recharged, we began heading back up the first of the Avens. Abi and Benedict took the lead with myself and Rosie following up from behind. With everyone getting another soaking, I was feeling rather smug wearing my raincoat, keeping my core nice and somewhat dry. Little did I know Karma would soon be a bitch. Taking some inspiration from Jamie, I started blasting some white girl bangers, aiming to up moral before the rift whilst waiting for Rosie to finish de-rigging.
Entering the rift, I think we were all loving life (I certainly was), finding it quite a bit harder on way up. Personally I tackled it with my amazing technique of much wriggling and struggle, much to Rosie’s great amusement. Eventually reaching the crawl, where I was momentarily relieved before the second oopsie occurred.
Crawling away I heard a loud
POP!
then silence. Rosie had gone quiet.
Contorting myself to rotate round and attempt to assist, it became apparent she’d done something to her knee whilst navigating the rift and lifting the rope bag. Grabbing the bag off her, Rosie now became the passenger princess and began to soldier on. The prospect of a climb up the Nott’s II entrance seeming more daunting than the few pitches left.
Powering on ahead of us, Abi & Co. reached the final junction in the crawl. Finding the highlight of the trip, some fish fossils, boosting moral and making some great photos!
Further back Rosie and I reached the Pleasures of the Palm junction. Being the gentleman (and slow crawler) that I am, I stopped and let her past, her still being very speedy even with an injured knee. Climbing up the junction’s small drop, I decided I wanted to quickly rest my chin. With efficiency on my mind, I quickly dropped to the ground and lay my Jaw at rock on a rock at the bottom. After a short dazed rest I continued on, concluding the third and hopefully final oopsie of the trip.
Now alone, the crawl felt like it was getting longer and longer, as I kept hoping after each bend it would be over. At one point I began to hear voices in my head… making me fear I had develop schizophrenia. Thankfully it was just the others, I had not gone crazy yet! Filled with relief I reached the final junction and tackled with some effort the super fun squeeze!
Finally Exiting the Cave
The rest of way up was smooth sailing, with no sizeable rocks being dropped on any of the Avens (other than a pebble or two). Whilst Abi and Benedict had fun de-rigging the final pitches, Rosie and I abandoned the fresh leaders and headed to the car to walm up and prepare for the drive home.
With everyone above ground, we speedily changed in the dark and packed the car, being too late for the sunset we had hoped to see. Like always I had forgotten a piece of critical spare clothing, so had to enjoy having a wet arse for the journey home.
Now the important part, Maccies. With acceptable orders all round, and a few stares from the staff at Abi’s face caked in mud, we warmed ourselves up and were fuelled for the journey home. Fingers crossed Rosie’s hot chocolate would keep her from falling asleep at the wheel! Making it home unscathed just before midnight, we were all ready to head to bed, tired from a successful day of eventful cave fun.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
What’s this? What do you mean I have a 9am? (RIP Rosie with 7:45am work start).