Trip Date: Saturday 17th October 2026.
Present: Jamie G., Abi M., Sasha P., Sam L., Abi R.
Submitted By: Jamie Gorton (edited by Matthew Emerson)
The Drive There
A 7am wake up is never easy, normally made worse is drinking happened the night before. Quick get ready and pack my kit, then a brisk walk to the SU for 8am.
A huge group had assembled in the car park, we stole our three freshers and were off. Buckle up freshers, we know where we are going! First bimble down to Catterick.
“Excuse me driver, I need a pee!! Can we stop at tesco?”
“Okay then”
First tragic error, don’t go near the Catterick McDonald’s before you’ve completed a trip. We pulled into Tesco, went to the loo and loaded up on meal deals.
Onwards troops.
“Erm, where are we going?”
This road is far too nice, and there are no tanks.
The karma from disturbing the McDonalds had hit! We had been sent on a wild detour along the A66. What the flip guys.
Then disaster struck, we had to leave the A66 and hit the single track roads. My ptsd of being in joes car was high. Please dont let there be any posties around here!
Round 2:
“I need a pee again”
Pulled over and the tree urinal was located.
Onwards again. Until… we stopped again for a toilet break. Faaaaaa
The single track then turned to cobbles. Then the second blow of karma hit. It was in the form of a warning sign – “WINTER CONDITIONS CAN BE DANGEROUS” – we thought nothing of it, its not winter anyway.
The road began to narrow, then it steepened. Oh shit, we’re in for a crazy one. Gate after gate blocking the road until we saw a car that had rolled off the road. It must have pencil rolled down the hill. Thankfully after an explore we made sure no one was inside.
Next Mission: The Impossible Hill Start
Revs, check.
Clutch up, check.
Hand break off, check.
Broom broom broom…. [white smokeeeeeeee]
Uh oh, the car has taken up vaping. The smell of this vape was rank. We had to pull over.
She was a bit hot but okay.
Broom broom, we were off again. All we could smell was the vape.
Finally, we arrived after crossing the treacherous mountain pass.
The Cave
Time to get changed. Lesson one: never trust the over suit sizes and never trust what is in the pockets of them.
All kitted up we made the brutal trek to the cave, it took a whopping 5 minutes. At the cave entrance, we meet some chaps tinkering with an electronic box and a large loop of thin wire. They explained how they were linking a connection to inside of the cave so you could get mobile data down there. I believe it was some sort of magic.
Quick photo at the entrance and we were in.
Leader, fresher, fresher, fresher, leader. Starting out with a crawl into endless stooping. To make things worst the water appeared, you have zero chance of getting through with dry feet.
We then met the receiving end of the mobile data chaps, they had set up more wire inside of the cave. Twas slightly annoying since we had to clamber all around it, but we managed.
Then we made it to the ladder climb. Abi completed the rigging and lowered herself down. Then it was fresher, fresher, fresher. They all tackled the ladder and made it to the bottom.
Hello hello, who’s this at the bottom!! More cavers, and even a DUSA alumnus. How cool!
Easy navigation up the stream until the turn off where you can choose; left: a long crawl or right: swimming. Leader, fresher, fresher went to check out the crawl while leader, fresher waited for their return. Upon their return we dug into the hot squash stash and had a cave chat.
Oy oy oy, it’s time for swimming. It was a short passage until the water began. Splash splash, before long it was up to our upper chest or neck for some.
Can’t stay too long down here though. So we plodded back to the ladder pitch. There was even some water slide action on the way.
Then it was leader fresher fresher leader fresher up the pitch/ladder. Abi and I got to practice some techniques we used in training, practice makes perfect ey.
I keep saying “Then…”, I really need to improve my writing skills or just recruit a fresher who does humanities. Shame they are hard to come by in this club.
To switch it up I’ll go with; The journey continued, past where we saw high tech magic mobile data wizards, and onwards through the endless stooping passages.
Not much to report in these passages apart from a stiff back.
The Journey Back
Daylight must have been a welcome sight for these freshers; it certainly was on my freshers’ trip. There’s nothing quite like being in cave darkness, it definitely takes a trip to get used to.
The others (leader fresher fresher fresher) got changed into their warm and dry clothes while I ventured back in to retreive some stuff. This is the first and will be the last time I go into a cave alone.
I swear, I started hearing voices. The sound of dropping stones didn’t help. Probably just some ghosts trying to tease me.
Back to the car, quick change, and into the car. Thankfully the car still worked and we jetted off. Through Ingleton (sadly no Inglesport cafe though).
Would you be surprised if I told you we were planning to stop at the Catterick McDonalds. No of couse not!! doii
A few sleepy in the car, but importantly not the driver. A very chill scran, yum yum we munched it all.
Onwards to Durham. We made it to the SU to say hi to Stanley and Oliver. We handed some of the gear over to them and gave the freshers a crib tour of the store cupboard. Then we hit the road again to drop everyone off.
What a day. Thank you keen freshers for coming along. We hope you enjoyed and will return.
Lessons Learnt:
More Katy Perry should have been played on the journey to the cave.
Additional Reading:
How to Replace a Clutch in Your Car – Scotty Kilmer
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